Okay, lest you all think I went off the deep end, I wanted to assure you that I am all better from my post last night. Then again, it is only 7:30 in the morning, so we haven't had much of an opportunity to let this day bomb, yet.
Unfortunately, last night only went from bad to worse. After the excruciating "dinner time" experience with my son, I figured it might be a good idea to take everyone to the park. Well, I thought wrong. That time, it was my daughter's time to have a meltdown. And, in true tantrum fashion, she literally cry/screamed (is there a word for that?) the entire way home from the park, insisting that "I DIDN'T GET TO PLAY! I WANT TO GO BACK!" And, unfortunately for me, the entire neighborhood was outside last night, and either on their way to or from the park, so everyone got a taste of how "well-behaved" my kids truly are. I just continued to walk home and began to laugh. Really LAUGH. So, if you didn't think I was insane before, perhaps you do now. But, trust me- last night if I didn't laugh, I'd cry.
I don't know- my wonderful girlfriend with five children of her own- gave me the helpful advice that I need some progesterone. Hmm. I may have to look into that. Not the cream kind that you rub on your arm, that's like 20 milligrams... the kind you get a Rx for and stick under your lip... it's like 200 milligrams. Apparently it's the "chill you out" wonder "drug??" - do you even call it that? Supplement?? Who knows- it's probably yet another thing I can't take because I'm nursing. For 6 years, I've been able to take virtually nothing... for anything... because I've either been pregnant and/or nursing. And, yes, before you try to do the math in your head- my "baby" is almost 2. And I'm not apologizing.
Well, regardless, there is one place I can turn... literally, and figuratively. One place I can look for help to get me through my day. As I type, I am reminded of the instruction in Hebrews to "Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God's throne." Hebrews 2:12
Wow- one of the most powerful paragraphs in the scriptures. Well, there are many. But this passage, in 4 sentences, puts ALL of life ALL back into perspective. No matter how "bad" I think my day is going, "Let me look only to Jesus" ... no matter how frustrated or overwhelmed I may feel, "the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect." Because of the incomprehensible fact that "He suffered death on the cross," (for ME, a grumbling, impatient, fearful, forgetful, failing mortal human being). But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right hand of God's throne."
That is unbelievably mighty and powerful and humbling. And the power of that truth TRUMPS my measly daily frustrations ANY TIME. When I fix my eyes upon Jesus. And I fix my eyes upon what He did. And when I fix my eyes on the prize... the true POINT of this entire journey on earth (so that we may live in JOY with Christ... eternally), I am grateful, and humbled and reminded of my priorities in life, and so very thankful that "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lam 3:22-23
7 comments:
Angela,
Well put! My biggest fear in starting homeschooling is not being able to "get away" and escape the4 chaos! I can SO SO SO understand how you were feeling last night. But I too must keep turning to scripture. Both in how I intend to raise my kids and how I will keep my sanity. I marked the passages you have here! AWESOME! I love the blogging world!
We have withdrawn Ellie from school and will be homeschooling her with kindergarten this year. I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. What a lofty blessing!
Angela, I am SO glad to hear you're having a better day, though I can TOTALLY relate to how you're feeling, or were feeling. And why do these particularly hard times happen when the husband is traveling? Hmmm...how convenient. :) I do NOT think your going crazy, losing your mind, going insane...whatever you want to call it. I have my days, weeks actually, where I literally feel like I'm hanging on by the seams. Ironically, it's in those weeks, where I need it the most that I find it HARDEST to open my Bible and read God's encouraging word. But fortunately for me, God never forsakes me, even if my children do! :)
Love ya!
Yep, can totally relate here too!
Glad it's a better day.
Nicely put!
Amen, my friend!
I too can SOOOOOO relate to those times of just wanting to run away or pull my hair out!!!
And, how true is perspective? It is so easy to get bogged down by emotions, feelings, and just our circumstances. All are very REAL things...but, dealing with them all in light of eternity is SO important!
Thanks for the reminder tonight to FIX my eyes on Jesus! I appreciate it!
Hope that the rest of your day went well today!
I hope Mike will be back soon to give you a break. I don't know about the progesterone thing, but maybe a nice glass of wine could hold you over! =)
You always see the good in all things, Ange! Thank you for reminding the rest of us to keep things in perspective...and to stay focused on what's really important!
Don't you just love how our children are such experts on imposing one of the best virtues, humility, upon us?! You'd think they were professionally trained in such a thing!
Hi Angela, I was wondering what curriculum you are using? I have a 10 yr old and 11 yr old...
I've got most of our curriculum, but still struggling with what Math to go with. Any suggestions on Math that may have worked well for you?
I'm actually curious about what full curriculum you are using. =)
Blessings, Jenn
I like both of those posts...gotta keep it real! ;-) I had one of those bad days this afternoon with my kids (and Hubby gone). I probably need so prog or something too with my pms. Or as laura suggested wine might do the trick.
Loved those back to school pictures. Are you sure they ever give you a minute of trouble???? (haha)
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