Summer!

 We've been quite busy around here...

Not so much "working" on computers, or even staying inside at all.

Summer has FINALLY arrived!

We spend our days OUTSIDE.

Watching duck families raise their babies in the pond.

Caring for our garden.

Watching the wildlife in their (and our) playground...

Tag. Tag. and MORE Tag!

Hiking!

And enjoying the fresh air and sunshine...

Practicing for the minors...

... It's a family affair!

Happy (Summer) Weekend to you!

Who do we think He is? No... who do we think WE are??

The house is silent. Everyone has long since fallen asleep.



I, myself, should be asleep in my bed. But I can’t sleep. My mind is racing- my thoughts on a 120 mph race to reach some unknown destination. Where that is, I’m not sure. I have no agenda in mind. But I can’t shut them off. I can’t quiet my mind- so I might as well get them out so I may put my mind at rest, turn out the light and go to sleep - knowing I’ve said my peace.


This evening, before bed, as I routinely “closed up” the house and cleaned up the kitchen, I saw a bowl of chips sitting on the table. Why not? – I thought. I shoved in a few chips and continued to wipe down the counters. 30 seconds later, my finger. was. BURNING. A cut! I’d forgotten about a paper cut… that a tiny fraction of my skin was exposed. I stuck my thumb in my mouth, paused- and waited until the sting went away. And while I paused, I thought about the ole saying… you know it, of course… “like pouring salt in an open wound.”


It hurts.


My thoughts wandered next to something I was disturbed about prior to cleaning up the kitchen. Earlier this evening, I logged onto Facebook and read something that I’d been thinking about ever since. Now, I’ve been on Facebook for years and just when I think I’ve gotten it figured out, I realize that I don’t… like, for example, why it is that posts from other people I’m not connected with on Facebook show up in my news feed? Why do I care what “Joe Schmo” (who I’m not even friends with) said, and why does it show up in MY news feed just because one of our mutual friends liked or commented on his status? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you what- it’s caused me my fair share of raised hackles, occasions to bite my lip (since I had no other choice and couldn’t respond) and- on instances like this evening… nights that threaten to turn into “sleepless” if I don’t release my thoughts.


And so here it is…

Tonight, a gentleman posed a thought on the sovereignty of God. He noted that if all was created by Him, thru Him, and for Him, and if truly the winds even obey Him, and if He is completely sovereign over all creation, what do we say then about the tornados that took lives in the last 24 hours. I understand and appreciate his thought- regardless of my own personal opinion as to where He was going with this. However, MY first thought when I read this was that His comment completely lacked sensitivity to those who had suffered unspeakable loss. Like salt in a wound. People haven’t even buried the bodies of their loved ones… their mothers, fathers… their babies. Regardless of your view of God, of free will, of whether God allows evil, or sends calamity to meet a higher, unknown purpose… I shutter when I realize we’ve become a community of people- of believers- who think we can take a catastrophic event like this and within 24 hours, throw it up on a discussion board and hammer out an answer based on what we *think* we know to be true about God. Fodder for “good discussion.” Really?? I guess I’m asking this- who are we to even pose the question?


So the guy posing the question thinks God sent the tornados – because He controls everything- so who are we to question God’s sovereignty?


Others clearly disagreed (as I, personally would be inclined) – not that God is sovereign, because He most certainly is… but others referred to free will and the role of Satan’s influence in this world.


His status ended with, “what is your take?” – Because I am not networked on FB with him, I have no ability to post on his comment thread. But because this is my blog, I can write what I want. If I am bold enough- perhaps I will later consider sharing this on Facebook.


But here is my take….


Who really knows?


Furthermore…
Why is it that we think we have it all figured out?
Why do we think we can fit God into a box? One way or the other.


People want to camp out in 2 ditches.

1) A loving God would never and could never allow or send calamity and everything bad that happens is the result of the enemy.
Or...2) A belief that God controls everything and causes and sends all calamity and who are we to question?



As far as I see, it all boils down to this:
In ditch #1, you find people who are too afraid to believe in a God who might send any calamity, any trial, for any reason at any time… because... why? That would make him unloving?


And yet in the other ditch camps those who are too afraid to believe in a God who can and does allow Satan to roam freely, Who has established free will and allowed it to create a mess of consequences, calamities and widespread devastation through all manner of ways because... why? That somehow minimizes the sovereignty of God? If He’s not the one who controls, to the detail- every. single. thing.- then His omnipotence is somehow lessened?


Sadly, both are wrong. And not according to me… according to the scriptures. All one has to do is read the old testament where you will find many examples of God sending devastation for a purpose. Or the New testament- where God used the crucifixion of his Son so that we might be given life. YET, in this same Bible we find clear instruction to stand our guard and fight the enemy who has been given dominion and rule over this world, until the return of Christ. From the very beginning of scripture we see the beautiful gift of free will, and how humans managed to turn that blessing into a curse for which we suffer the consequences personally and on a global scale every.single.day.

I think our tendency to camp out in either ditch stems from fear:

Fear that if God can and does send calamity, then He might chose to refine ME through a trial and I. don’t. want it!

Or a fear that if God actually can and does change his mind and not all events, positive or negative, are entirely orchestrated by Him then- look out- because that means I have to take personal responsibility for things I may not want to… I may be required to step out into a place that makes me uncomfortable… or – perhaps most scary of all… my faith, or lack thereof- really does have an enormous impact on the outcome of my life.


Let’s put things in perspective.
There is a God. I am not Him. And neither are you.
And any attempt to box Him into either ditch, will gain us no deeper understanding- it serves no other purpose than to feed our pride.

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts.


God cannot be defined by who we want Him to be. What makes us feel comfortable or safe- in either extreme.

One thing we can be sure. God is who He says He Is.
The One true God.
Holy.
Omnipotent.
Sovereign.


As soon as we start thinking that we’ve got Him “all figured out” – is the moment we begin to replace Him.

Let’s serve and glorify who He is – beautifully complex- and stop trying to make Him who we want Him to be.

the anatomy of misperception...

Here's my baby boy having fun. He found a pair of his big brothers undies and thought it would be hilarious to put them on.
Himself.
And then gallivant around the house in them.

And now here's a secret.

I never wanted boys.
Let me rephrase... I thought I never wanted boys.

Well- I have shared this secret with a few Mom's throughout the years... a few expectant mothers(who have 1 daughter already and were hoping for a "sister").
The conversation usually starts nonchalantly - first, as the mom "to be" shares snippets of a dream or two she had of imagined "sisters" (playing dolls, sharing matching outfits and braids, etc.).... but then quickly moves along as she rubs her belly trying to convince others (and herself) how truly "excited" that she is (now) to be expecting a baby boy, indeed.

Somehow that smile doesn't quite reach their eyes. And I never believe her- because I was her (before I had boys)... hoping the XY would stay far, far away.

But this isn't meant to be a sad story! And for goodness sake, I don't mean to sound so ridiculous, as if hearing one is having a "boy" is the worst news ever. How horrible to even suggest. I'm just sayin... If you ever wanted a baby girl... and only a baby girl- then you get what I'm talking about. If not- then never mind. Just look at the cute pictures and forget what I've said up above.

But back to the pregnant Mom... I always whisper to her the same thing... "Don't tell anyone... but I never thought I wanted boys, either... until I had one! Trust me- there is NOTHING like having a son. Little boys are the best. It's gonna be great!"

I suppose- like with many things- any kind of apprehension about raising sons that I may have had can be explained by the fear of the unknown. I grew up with a sister. One sister. No boys.

Before I had sons, I imagined that having a son would be akin to having a messy, noisy, monkey who climbed bookshelves and walls and shouted all day long.

But it wasn't like that at all. My first son, Alex, has the most beautiful, sensitive calm nature. No drama. No craziness. Not a lot of noise. Complacent. Easy. A true delight in every sense.

And for those of you moms who actually do have one of those "crazy" XY's please don't write me off. Know that I did not escape... my crazy monkey came in the form of an XX  named Ariana who actually WAS what I'd always imagined as a mischevious, noisy, crazy "boy" ...  times 10.

So there.

And by the way- the meaning of her beautiful name happens to be "Very holy one." - not just 'holy one" but "VERY" holy one. Um. Okay. And for those of you who actually know her in person- you can stop laughing now. Moving along...

The point is- my perception of what little boys were like was soooo off. Not having grown up with "boys" or brothers around and wondering how strange it would be to parent a son was a fear that ended the moment they said "It's a boy!" and placed my first son in my arms.

What I've come to discover is that boys are amazing.

Funny.

Creative.

Endearing.

Charming.

Silly.

And yes, at times- a bit silly, crazy and mischievous, finding joy in the strangest things...

Need I say more?

Oh, my boys.

I love them so much.

They bring me endless joy.

Misconceptions are funny like that.

You never know what you're gonna get, until it actually happens- and you live it... and you realize that some things in life will never quite turn out exactly as you imagined they'd be.

Often times they're SO much better.

Testing, testing, testing...

Anyone still there?

Why is it that as the years go on since I first started blogging, the time between my posts grows farther and farther apart?

I suppose adding a couple more kids- (and a home education!)- may have something to do with it ;)

But I'm still here! Even if I'm the only one.

I'm pretty sure I'll never stop blogging. I may go several weeks in between, but I'll never stop. I love expressing myself in pictures and in words. I'm hopeful that as the kids grow older, it will get easier, as they become less dependent and I can carve out a little more time to create posts. But for now, the little ones require much investment in time- and I don't want to miss investing in what is invaluable. I read the best quote today- it affected me deeply, and also confirmed for me that it's ok to go a week or two (or 4) without updating. I read, "Make sure the time you spend (online) is really nurturing you. Make sure it's making you a better wife, a better mother, a better Christian. Your time is so precious and your time alone is so scarce. Make it count. Make it matter."

So there you go. That's where I've been when I haven't been here...
I've been making it matter. Making it count.

That being said- I've got a baby sleeping, 2 girls listening to Cd's in their room, and a little man building a Lego Cross for Easter in his bedroom... and about 20 minutes of time to myself- to share with you- what we've been up to.

Just when we thought Spring was here to stay... fresh air and no more colds... we got hit with a bad case of Influenza. It hit all of us hard! I was in bed for 4 days straight. At one point, when my fever soared past 105.5, my husband was eager to take me in to the hospital because the Internet scared him into thinking I could slip into a coma. I told him I was too sick to move- that I was going to try to sleep- and to check on me in an hour... if I didn't budge, then he should bring me in. And obviously you know how the story ends- here I am. Three weeks later. Well!

My little Gracie got hit hardest out of all the kids. She soared past 106. When I was sweating away in my own fever induced delirium-  the scary Internet info didn't phase me. But when it's your CHILD who's afflicted, it's hard not to flip into panic mode. But I resisted... and chose prayer over panic. (And I also gave that fever 60 minutes to dip down before I would have raced her to the ER... and like her Momma, she- too, was ok).

When my little mother hen wasn't resting, fighting off this nasty bug...

... she was helping take care of her siblings. She's amazing.

We all chipped in taking care of each other...

As the Mom, I was in charge of the Rx log, of course. Keeping track of 6 people's Tylenol schedules in my head is too confusing- even for me...

But soon enough- the smiles returned-

And so did our energy...

And so did the sunshine!!

(Well, temporarily).

Since I took these pictures we've had snow.

And sun.

And more snow.

I know that living in the Northern parts, our Spring comes a bit later than in other parts- but this is ridiculous.

I'm hopeful, however, that I've seen my last snowflake of the winter fall. And that in posts to come you'll be seeing us OUTSIDE, where we LOVE to be!

Happy Spring (or if you live by me... Spring to Be!)