Testing, testing, testing...

Anyone still there?

Why is it that as the years go on since I first started blogging, the time between my posts grows farther and farther apart?

I suppose adding a couple more kids- (and a home education!)- may have something to do with it ;)

But I'm still here! Even if I'm the only one.

I'm pretty sure I'll never stop blogging. I may go several weeks in between, but I'll never stop. I love expressing myself in pictures and in words. I'm hopeful that as the kids grow older, it will get easier, as they become less dependent and I can carve out a little more time to create posts. But for now, the little ones require much investment in time- and I don't want to miss investing in what is invaluable. I read the best quote today- it affected me deeply, and also confirmed for me that it's ok to go a week or two (or 4) without updating. I read, "Make sure the time you spend (online) is really nurturing you. Make sure it's making you a better wife, a better mother, a better Christian. Your time is so precious and your time alone is so scarce. Make it count. Make it matter."

So there you go. That's where I've been when I haven't been here...
I've been making it matter. Making it count.

That being said- I've got a baby sleeping, 2 girls listening to Cd's in their room, and a little man building a Lego Cross for Easter in his bedroom... and about 20 minutes of time to myself- to share with you- what we've been up to.

Just when we thought Spring was here to stay... fresh air and no more colds... we got hit with a bad case of Influenza. It hit all of us hard! I was in bed for 4 days straight. At one point, when my fever soared past 105.5, my husband was eager to take me in to the hospital because the Internet scared him into thinking I could slip into a coma. I told him I was too sick to move- that I was going to try to sleep- and to check on me in an hour... if I didn't budge, then he should bring me in. And obviously you know how the story ends- here I am. Three weeks later. Well!

My little Gracie got hit hardest out of all the kids. She soared past 106. When I was sweating away in my own fever induced delirium-  the scary Internet info didn't phase me. But when it's your CHILD who's afflicted, it's hard not to flip into panic mode. But I resisted... and chose prayer over panic. (And I also gave that fever 60 minutes to dip down before I would have raced her to the ER... and like her Momma, she- too, was ok).

When my little mother hen wasn't resting, fighting off this nasty bug...

... she was helping take care of her siblings. She's amazing.

We all chipped in taking care of each other...

As the Mom, I was in charge of the Rx log, of course. Keeping track of 6 people's Tylenol schedules in my head is too confusing- even for me...

But soon enough- the smiles returned-

And so did our energy...

And so did the sunshine!!

(Well, temporarily).

Since I took these pictures we've had snow.

And sun.

And more snow.

I know that living in the Northern parts, our Spring comes a bit later than in other parts- but this is ridiculous.

I'm hopeful, however, that I've seen my last snowflake of the winter fall. And that in posts to come you'll be seeing us OUTSIDE, where we LOVE to be!

Happy Spring (or if you live by me... Spring to Be!)

Ups and downs.

As I sign into my blogger account and realize it's been (gasp!) nearly an entire month since I last posted, I'm reminded all the more what a whirlwind the last month has proven to be.

Ups.

and (sadly) downs.

But I think I've finally arrived at a place of steady.

(for now... though, like all things in life, that too will change and steady will eventually give way to more Ups.... and downs.)

But GOD is GOOD!
All the time.
And what does that even mean, anyway?
Has it become some overused cliche that we robotically deliver when passing our friends at church with a smile plastered on our face? (all the while, fighting exhaustion, stress, frustration, trials - and, if you're a parent to young ones... lack of sleep).

Sometimes, I think so.

Sometimes, I think Christians like to talk too much.
We throw out "right sounding" phrases ("Praise The Lord!... Good is Good!")- and yet spoken without sincerity the words fall flat. Please don't misunderstand me, I assure you the declarations are no less true, but sometimes I think we owe it to others, to ourselves (and to God!) to speak those words, yes, but also provide a transparent context.

Such as...

"Wow- this week has been so hard. My baby has been miserably ill and won't stop crying.
Day or night.
Sleep is overrated anyway, right?...

But God is faithful, He will see us through this, and He is GOOD!"

Or...

"My dog nearly died this week.
For real.
But despite the fear we experienced while she was in surgery and post op, God - AGAIN- proved to be faithful and showed us a miracle....
Praise the Lord!"

Though we were told our doggie would surely have to stay for 3 days after major (emergency) surgery- my kids prayed anyway that doggie would be able to come home the next day. The vet chuckled when I suggested it on the phone during our call immediately after her surgery. Yet, kids prayed anyway that night.
Guess who was home, wagging her tail, at noon the very next day?
God IS Good! Thank you, Jesus.

Wow, what a week we had. And I'll tell ya what... though I didn't enjoy it, I survived it. And when my friends or family called, I was honest. "This is HARD! But I believe- in faith- it's all going to be OK."

Whatever trial this world wants to throw at us, because of the power of the Holy Spirit living in me, I declare PEACE. ("You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."—Isaiah 26:3)

And when I pass my friends at church- or when I talk to my friends on the phone, I always want to be genuine. I believe that the best way to encourage others, is through our own transparency... Admitting that life can be hard.
We might be exhausted.
We might feel overwhelmed.
We might be fighting fear or anxiety.
It's not only okay to admit it, it's the right thing to do. Because when we come through the other side of a long, troubling week... or month... or year... we might be able to encourage others who find themselves in the same place (or situation) that we've come out of.

^"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." - 1 Cor 1: 3-4

As I write, I find our household in a good place today...

We're back to a place of health.

(Even the little doggie is recovering quite nicely! I'm giving her breaks to recoup in her own space, without being chased by the baby... though that doesn't mean Christian all together 'leaves her alone.')

Every one's sleeping better.

I got some laundry done (clean socks and undies = always a good thing).

And we've finally been given a bit of respite from the seemingly never ending winter this year...

No matter where you find yourself today... in a challenging situation or momentary trial... have faith, cling to those around you who love you enough to be genuine... to share openly so that you might find encouragement of your own that soon... soon enough... things will turn around and you'll be singing a new tune.

And if you find yourself in a good place today- find a way to be a light to others.

A little encouragement- and a whole lot of transparency- go a long way.

We aren't meant to travel this journey alone.

Peace!

want to...

My absence from my blog has not been lost on me.

Whereas it's true that I've been busy lately (when are moms not busy?), there is perhaps a greater reason for my neglect.

I've had so much on my mind.

You'd think, wouldn't you, that it'd mean I'd have an abundance of topics to right about.

 Right now, in my mind- and in my heart- there are so many thoughts swirling around I'm finding it difficult, myself, to organize my thoughts into words... much less organize those words into a post.

These past 2 years have been a time of tremendous change for me. Not in outward circumstances, but in terms of inward growth. And less I start rambling and becoming completely vague about *what* I'm even referring to in this post... I am speaking strictly of changes of the heart... reflections of who I am, for what purpose, and whom I serve.

What this all boils down to is my relationship with God.

These last 6 months in particular have been the most amazing, eye-opening, transforming time of my entire 34 years. And, honestly, I can't even give you a reason why it's been the last 6 months. I can't point to a specific event. I can't give you a specific reason. Nothing tragic, nothing monumental... nothing- really- out of the ordinary has occurred in my life.

But in the last couple years, my heart has undergone a process of transformation and my eyes are been opened. It's been a beautiful and humbling experience.

I want to write about "it." I want to shout from the top of my lungs about all the amazing things I'm discovering! But that's where I'm finding myself stuck. Because it's not really about an "it" - there are just so.many.things!

I grew up Knowing God. Knowing Jesus. Believing the Bible- word for word.

Did I love Him?

Yes.

But was I in Love with Him? Of that, I really had no firm grasp. But what I did have, was the *want* to.

I knew it was possible. I'd heard other people talking about being so "in love" with Jesus. I'd maybe said it myself, hoping it was true. Because, after all- I did love Him- I did believe the Bible- I believed everything. But when it came straight down to it, I wasn't sure I loved and desired Him, as much as I knew was possible. I wanted to. But I didn't know how.

So, for a long time, I prayed for the desire... for the want to.

And here's the amazing thing about God. He listens. He answers prayers- and He always answers in the affirmative when prayers are asked that are according to His Will. I had to look no further than the Ten Commandments to know that it is certainly God's Will that I love Him, with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength.

"Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)

So I asked. And I sought. I knocked- and He answered.

And it hasn't ended there. I've continued to seek... and He's continued to answer. And what amazes me, is that the more I seek, the greater the depths of my heart are opened... the more I've fallen in love, with this amazing, incomprehensible, God Almighty.

I'm finding myself in a place of true, honest, desire to read His word and spend time with Him. Not the kind of time where I check the box as "done." But the kind of time that I jump out of bed for. Though I've read the Bible in it's entirety several times, in the last 6 months, I feel like I'm reading it for the very first time. Words and ideas and revelation jumping off the pages... new insights straight after the other- seemingly line by line.

All I did was ask. "Help me, God, to want to know you more."  And in His immeasurable grace and love for me as His daughter, He answered.

You sometimes hear people say in real life relationships, "I didn't know what true love was till I found it." And sometimes you find that to be true for yourself.
I found it to be true in the most surprising real life relationship of all.

I'd like to be able to share some of these thoughts with you. Though sometimes I think I should just stick to posting random pictures of the kids. Perhaps a little of both? But sooner than later I hope to get my thoughts in order to be able to post more of what I'm been thinking about.  Thanks for sticking with me :)

Shortly before we left Florida, we swung by a favorite FL hotspot.

Can you guess where we went? 

"Okay, everyone, hurry up- get together- SMILE... quick!!"... (before we get trampled!)

Let's look a little closer, shall we?

You got it!

The "Happiest Place on Earth!"

Daddy and Ariana... skipping along

Papa and his buddies

 Even Christian has so much fun on the rides we was able to go on!

And what's a trip to Disney without a hug from a Princess.

(Reminder to self: FREEZE this moment and this memory before my little princess' grow up too fast)

Everyone agreed- our favorite ride was the Buzz Lightyear blaster!

Thanks to Papa for generously treating our family to a SUPER fun day that we definitely won't forget!