in which case less is definitely not more...

i forged ahead, one foot in front of the other. a woman on a mission.

i stopped at my first find... 4

nope. not good enough.

i continued on. next up... 8

much better, perhaps we have a winner?

being the never quite satisfied gal that i am, i decided to give it one more shot.

my last and final stop... 18.
BINGO!

And what on earth could I possibly be talking about?

Grams of fat, ladies. Grams of fat. That, my friends, is the number of grams of fat in Haagen-Dazs Vanilla ice cream per serving. (and fyi, a serving is a mere 1/2 a cup)

And why, again, was I going for more - as opposed to less?? Let me explain.

It started out a late starting, chaotic, crazy, loud, obnoxious typical morning in my house. And I thought I was off to a typical, routine, same ole same ole 2 year check up for my littlest one. We arrived merely a few minutes late (good, in my book), and we were not left waiting long. But after the height and weight and head size check - while we waited for the Dr. to see us- I sat my cherub face little angels down in a row on the floor of the exam room and opened up their favorite "on the go" snack (organic cheese balls, if you must know- and yes, they really do make "organic" even though I know it sounds like an oxymoron). Anyway- in walks the Pediatrician and we exchanged a few pleasantries.

But then it was down to business. I saw her brow furrow and heard the words... "I'm rather concerned about Ariana's growth pattern, or lack there of." Urgh... the words I'd been dreading since pretty much her 4 month check up. Concerned??? That's what I'VE been for the last year and half but everyone (including our Pediatrician) has continued to tell me she's just a half pint, just cute and petite. Well, in the last year - from 12 months until 24 months, she has grown only 4 inches and gained only 4 lbs. And now, apparently, her weight doesn't even land on the toddler charts, but comes in at 3% on the baby charts for her age. And her height is losing percentage points, as well.

Being the straight shooting girl that I am, I just told her to lay it on me- what could possibly be wrong with her. Well, the most obvious answer - she's not getting enough calories- was her first suggestion, but then after that came a list of other possibilities that was not sounding very encouraging. The list was fairly long- anything ranging from thyroid disorder or kidney dysfunction to cystic fibrosis or (gulp) leukemia. As you can imagine, my mind was reeling. She proceeded to order testing and after that the techs came in to take her blood. I was told she'd call me in an hour.

tick. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick.
All I heard for the next 3,600 seconds

and then 7,200 seconds went by.

and then I couldn't take it anymore so I picked up the phone and called.
had to leave a message.

But by the end of the day, I did hear back on half of the tests run.... ALL CLEAR. Thank God! It would take another 24 hours to get the thyroid completed. But at 5 PM today my cell phone rang and I heard more good news... thyroid is great.

So that leaves us with 2 other possibilities. 1) She's not getting enough calories or 2) She has a growth hormone deficiency.

So I am now given 2 months to see if I can "grow" her. And if, after 2 months, no progress is made, it will be off to the Endocrinologist.

Which leads me to where I began this post.

18 grams of fat per serving (Haagan-Dazs) + whole milk = Super Growing Potion (i.e. "milkshake")

and it's just what the doctor ordered. and that's not all! a milkshake a day, pediasure, flax seed oil added to everything, and whatever other fattening things i can think of. so- like everything in life- I proceed with zeal! Oh, Lord, let me succeed!!

to be continued... (in 2 months)