the anatomy of misperception...

Here's my baby boy having fun. He found a pair of his big brothers undies and thought it would be hilarious to put them on.
Himself.
And then gallivant around the house in them.

And now here's a secret.

I never wanted boys.
Let me rephrase... I thought I never wanted boys.

Well- I have shared this secret with a few Mom's throughout the years... a few expectant mothers(who have 1 daughter already and were hoping for a "sister").
The conversation usually starts nonchalantly - first, as the mom "to be" shares snippets of a dream or two she had of imagined "sisters" (playing dolls, sharing matching outfits and braids, etc.).... but then quickly moves along as she rubs her belly trying to convince others (and herself) how truly "excited" that she is (now) to be expecting a baby boy, indeed.

Somehow that smile doesn't quite reach their eyes. And I never believe her- because I was her (before I had boys)... hoping the XY would stay far, far away.

But this isn't meant to be a sad story! And for goodness sake, I don't mean to sound so ridiculous, as if hearing one is having a "boy" is the worst news ever. How horrible to even suggest. I'm just sayin... If you ever wanted a baby girl... and only a baby girl- then you get what I'm talking about. If not- then never mind. Just look at the cute pictures and forget what I've said up above.

But back to the pregnant Mom... I always whisper to her the same thing... "Don't tell anyone... but I never thought I wanted boys, either... until I had one! Trust me- there is NOTHING like having a son. Little boys are the best. It's gonna be great!"

I suppose- like with many things- any kind of apprehension about raising sons that I may have had can be explained by the fear of the unknown. I grew up with a sister. One sister. No boys.

Before I had sons, I imagined that having a son would be akin to having a messy, noisy, monkey who climbed bookshelves and walls and shouted all day long.

But it wasn't like that at all. My first son, Alex, has the most beautiful, sensitive calm nature. No drama. No craziness. Not a lot of noise. Complacent. Easy. A true delight in every sense.

And for those of you moms who actually do have one of those "crazy" XY's please don't write me off. Know that I did not escape... my crazy monkey came in the form of an XX  named Ariana who actually WAS what I'd always imagined as a mischevious, noisy, crazy "boy" ...  times 10.

So there.

And by the way- the meaning of her beautiful name happens to be "Very holy one." - not just 'holy one" but "VERY" holy one. Um. Okay. And for those of you who actually know her in person- you can stop laughing now. Moving along...

The point is- my perception of what little boys were like was soooo off. Not having grown up with "boys" or brothers around and wondering how strange it would be to parent a son was a fear that ended the moment they said "It's a boy!" and placed my first son in my arms.

What I've come to discover is that boys are amazing.

Funny.

Creative.

Endearing.

Charming.

Silly.

And yes, at times- a bit silly, crazy and mischievous, finding joy in the strangest things...

Need I say more?

Oh, my boys.

I love them so much.

They bring me endless joy.

Misconceptions are funny like that.

You never know what you're gonna get, until it actually happens- and you live it... and you realize that some things in life will never quite turn out exactly as you imagined they'd be.

Often times they're SO much better.